Albert is a cardinal. Brandon is a crow
Tom is a bird, but what he is – no one knows
He has the head of a turkey but the body of a duck
And his voice is not a gobble or a quack, but a cluck
He drives along the autostrade on his little scooter
Weaving through the cars of the Italian commuters
Where could Tom the turkeyduck be? Where will he go?
Which way did he drive? Quella via? I don’t know

If you ever see a funny-looking bird
On a scooter in Italy
You’ll know he’s out seeing the sights
And his name is
Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom the turkeyduck
Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom the turkeyduck
The turkeyduck, the turkeyduck, the turkeyduck, the turkeyduck
Tacchino
The turkeyduck, the turkeyduck, the turkeyduck
Dové il tacchino

Tom starts off in Firenze, where he wakes up right at dawn
Heads to the Arno for a bath, then puts his helmet on
He eats his favorite breakfast: un biscotto, un caffé
Jumps on his scooter, starts it up, and then he drives away
The Duomo and Battista are the first things to get passed
Through Piazza Signoria, Tom is scooting really fast
He rolls by Alligheri’s statue right by Santa Croce
Then crosses Ponte Vecchio and heads south toward the highway

If you ever see a funny-looking bird
On a scooter in Italy
You’ll know he’s out seeing the sights
And his name is
Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom the turkeyduck
Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom the turkeyduck
The turkeyduck, the turkeyduck, the turkeyduck, the turkeyduck
Tacchino
The turkeyduck, the turkeyduck, the turkeyduck
Dové il tacchino

Cruisin’ down the road he’s on Route 222
Or “due due due” is how you could say it, too
Through Ponte a Ema, then Grassina – where the muskrats play
By Ugolino and Chiocchio – where tourists stay
Greve has a castle. Siena has a tower.
From there he keeps on driving south for over two more hours
Then he comes up on the city of his destination
And motors through the Roman streets with no procrastination

If you ever see a funny-looking bird
On a scooter in Italy
You’ll know he’s out seeing the sights
And his name is
Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom the turkeyduck
Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom the turkeyduck
The turkeyduck, the turkeyduck, the turkeyduck, the turkeyduck
Tacchino
The turkeyduck, the turkeyduck, the turkeyduck
Dové il tacchino

The Sistine Chapel’s ceiling has a picture painted on it
The Spanish Steps are where someone can stop and rest a minute
The Trevi Fountain is Tom’s favorite place to take a bath
The Pantheon’s a tribute to the beauty found in math
His final stop is bigger than a typical museum
Tom drove all day to see the ancient Roman colosseum
And when he’s done admiring it, he’ll sleep in Rome tonight
Then drive off in the morning so that he can see more sights

If you ever see a funny-looking bird
On a scooter in Italy
You’ll know he’s out seeing the sights
And his name is
Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom the turkeyduck
Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom the turkeyduck
The turkeyduck, the turkeyduck, the turkeyduck, the turkeyduck
Tacchino
The turkeyduck, the turkeyduck, the turkeyduck
Dové il tacchino